I state for the record now, as I have never made any blatant reference to my teenage drug abuse in previous posts, that I am in now way proud or condoning of what happened to me or the mistakes that I made.

Cole was the first of us to see past the excitement and drama of drugs, and she stated, "I want out before it's too late".

She had sparse communication with her alcoholic mother, but during one of their very sporadic phonce conversations, her mum had advised her: "Right now it's a habit, don't let it become an addiction."

So Cole had taken her own methods to kicking drugs. She stayed up late, researching different ideas and tips of ex-junkies, and had written a list of step-by-step instructions for herself. The first step was the eradication of temptation.

I, and others like me, were seductresses of a class A nature, and we were the first to be quickly shut out of Cole's life. It had been a tear-filled, sob session as Cole had informed me that she "wouldn't be seeing me for a while". But she vowed that when she was stronger, or when I was "better", we would see eachother again.

Two nights later, I find myself at Dom's house party, smoking bag after bag and snorting line after line, sadly reminiscing and staring at an empty chair (which had no particular relevance to Cole), imagining that she was still with me. But eventually, the empty chair was blurred and then it was out of sight, as I lay on my back slowly drifting in and out of existence, listening only to the horrified noises of my more sober friends, "Call her mum", "Call an ambulance", "Call Cole"...

I felt Cole's gentle hands lift me from the floor, and I can remember little else after that, although I know that I eventually ended up in her bed, vomitting and blacking out, in an almost comatose state for two days.

When I finally awoke, Cole was crouched at the side of the bed, a deep sadness in her eyes that informed me (without words) that she was back. She had been weak, most likely for fear of my death.

Unfortunately, I had little time to console her, as I felt an aching migraine burn and suffocate my brain, and needed air of only the freshest quality. The nearby hills, though we referred to them as mountains, was where I headed. And when I returned, I never did remember to apologise to Cole for sending her back over the edge.